Thoughts on Betrothal..

Many books and articles have been written on the topics of dating, courtship, and marriage preparation. I have read and agree with many, but everyone seems to have their own slightly varied views and guidelines on the subject. My own opinions and methods in this area have been wrong at times and have changed and developed over time. Therefore, I have chosen to put my thoughts into words... If I were to get technical with the terminology, I would say that I am a proponent of betrothal rather than courtship. Courtship has it's place and it is a part of betrothal, but according to what I have seen among many courting couples, the term loosely defined is merely "Christian dating" with a few more rules and restrictions. Betrothal is the method I wish to define and expound upon in these next few paragraphs. Ideally, a young man and woman meet. Among family and mutual friends they become acquainted. They are friends and enjoy spending time together among other friends and family. Eventually, as they become of age (which is different for each couple; I'd say at least 18 years) they may develop an attraction to one another. If this occurs, the young woman should do absolutely nothing to encourage or discourage the young man's attention. She should continue as if nothing has changed. She may, of course, express her feelings to her parents and ask them to pray about it as she seeks the Lord on her own. The young man, however, has a responsibility to express his feelings and intentions to his own parents/authority and make a plan to soon approach the young lady's parents. At that time, the young man and the young lady's father discuss the possibility of a courtship and determine when and how it will occur. The young man is obligated to follow the direction of his and the young lady's authority. Finally, the young man approaches the young lady about his feelings and requests her to consider a courtship. The young lady, after consulting with her own parents, expresses to the young man that, indeed, she would be interested in spending time getting to know the young man for the purpose of exploring the possibility of marriage. Courtship is a time of purpose. It takes time to really get to know a person and the purpose is to strongly consider and pray about marriage. As the two become familiar with one another and decide that they are compatible for marriage an engagement is proposed. The time of engagement is simply a short period of time for the bride to ready herself for the wedding day and for the groom to produce a comfortable home and living for his bride-to-be. After the arrangements are made the couple marries. The marriage is witnessed by family and close friends, those who had a part in the couple's season of betrothal. Basically, the crux of betrothal is the agreement. Before the process is ever begun, marriage is the purpose. Courtship is merely a trial time to be sure the couple know one another well enough to be sure marriage will be a good idea. However, the couple must also seek the wisdom and guidance of others. They must trust the opinion of parents and close friends. They must seek godly counsel above the feelings of their own hearts. Ultimately, betrothal is an agreement between two families. And marriage is the union of two families.