WARNING: this is a compilation incongruous thoughts as they run through my head... I have wondered lately why we (as humans) so often put on a facade. It is as if our culture and society will not allow us to be true to ourselves and real. We must work at pleasing everyone else by becoming what (or what we think) they expect of us. I see it in myself and I see it in others. A few weeks ago I met this guy at work. He is the most confident person I think I have ever met, but he's not cocky. He is very sure of himself and he is not concerned with what others say to him or about him. He's probably the friendliest guy one would meet and he is fun to talk to. He takes everything in stride, yet ramains true to who he knows he is. He knows what he wants and he persues it. He's not afraid to tell you what he thinks and he doesn't care if you think his ideas and opinions are stupid. I've only known this guy for a few weeks and already I want him to become a good friend. He has alluded to some less than ideal circumstances in his past and I am intrigued by history. I guess I really just want to know what "makes him tick". I find that I am more fake than real. I really don't know who I am (actually, I hate that phrase, I think its used way to much as an excuse for bad behavior). I know I am a moral person with good morals and I hold myslef to a high standard; however, I struggle with my stand on many issues. I am afraid I have lived my life spouting off what I have been taught by others instead of speaking my mind about what I have learned on my own. Some things I am sure of, but so many others I question. For example...I believe frimly that God is God, Jesus is His Son, and the Bible is God's Word. The Bible was given to us for instruction. I, as a believer, am obligated to study Scripture for myself and live my life as closely to its instruction and priniciples and I possibly can. However, that leaves roon for a lot of gray area...such issues that I am personally questioning include: fonication/no touch rules, drunkenness/social drinking, obedience to parents/adulthood, abstain from all appearance of evil/Jesus ate with publicans, sinners, and harlots, be in the world/but not of the world, fight for your beliefe/love your neighbor, judge not/use discernment, I really just want to know who I am and know what I believe. I don't want to argue with people about it or try to persuade them to see things as I see them. I am intersted in what others believe and think and I am willingt o hear their views. I don't want them to try to influence or persuade me and I will not try to influence or persuade them. Yes, I believe I should share my faith, but it is not for me push anyone to believe as I do. I'm not talking about issues of state in which there is an obligation to protect the citizen from harm. We cannot be tolerant of violent behavior. But I am thinking that most violent behavior could be prevented if people would just leave well enough alone and if they were given the freedom to express themselves. Ugh...this is is just a bunch of nonsensicle musings. I wish I were better at expressing myslef in words. At least I am becoming aware of my own shortcoming in this area and I am making an effort to improve. Ultimately I want know who I am and be mylsef and I never want to judge others for desiring and doing the same. "I lika you and you lika me"

Thoughts on Betrothal..

Many books and articles have been written on the topics of dating, courtship, and marriage preparation. I have read and agree with many, but everyone seems to have their own slightly varied views and guidelines on the subject. My own opinions and methods in this area have been wrong at times and have changed and developed over time. Therefore, I have chosen to put my thoughts into words... If I were to get technical with the terminology, I would say that I am a proponent of betrothal rather than courtship. Courtship has it's place and it is a part of betrothal, but according to what I have seen among many courting couples, the term loosely defined is merely "Christian dating" with a few more rules and restrictions. Betrothal is the method I wish to define and expound upon in these next few paragraphs. Ideally, a young man and woman meet. Among family and mutual friends they become acquainted. They are friends and enjoy spending time together among other friends and family. Eventually, as they become of age (which is different for each couple; I'd say at least 18 years) they may develop an attraction to one another. If this occurs, the young woman should do absolutely nothing to encourage or discourage the young man's attention. She should continue as if nothing has changed. She may, of course, express her feelings to her parents and ask them to pray about it as she seeks the Lord on her own. The young man, however, has a responsibility to express his feelings and intentions to his own parents/authority and make a plan to soon approach the young lady's parents. At that time, the young man and the young lady's father discuss the possibility of a courtship and determine when and how it will occur. The young man is obligated to follow the direction of his and the young lady's authority. Finally, the young man approaches the young lady about his feelings and requests her to consider a courtship. The young lady, after consulting with her own parents, expresses to the young man that, indeed, she would be interested in spending time getting to know the young man for the purpose of exploring the possibility of marriage. Courtship is a time of purpose. It takes time to really get to know a person and the purpose is to strongly consider and pray about marriage. As the two become familiar with one another and decide that they are compatible for marriage an engagement is proposed. The time of engagement is simply a short period of time for the bride to ready herself for the wedding day and for the groom to produce a comfortable home and living for his bride-to-be. After the arrangements are made the couple marries. The marriage is witnessed by family and close friends, those who had a part in the couple's season of betrothal. Basically, the crux of betrothal is the agreement. Before the process is ever begun, marriage is the purpose. Courtship is merely a trial time to be sure the couple know one another well enough to be sure marriage will be a good idea. However, the couple must also seek the wisdom and guidance of others. They must trust the opinion of parents and close friends. They must seek godly counsel above the feelings of their own hearts. Ultimately, betrothal is an agreement between two families. And marriage is the union of two families.